This week Celia told me these magic words, “Kirsten, you can’t think your way out of this” and honestly, I’ve never felt so relieved.
I’m a believer in mindset, the power of positive thought, affirmations etc. but sometimes, I find it really hard to change the way I’m thinking about or perceiving something. More than that, I find my body reacts in its usual manner (heart racing, solar plexus wringing itself out like a wet cloth) before my mind has a chance to catch up and even think about changing my response. This stress response is physical as much as it is in my head.
My issues are mostly that a) I don’t recognise stressors at an early enough point to be able to nip them in the bud while they are still a “small deal’ and b) my physical stress response to my anxiety triggers needs dealt with before we can start to tackle my mental one. Celia felt that because my body response is still so ‘hyper’, this needed dealt with before we could dive into any full on hypnotherapy as it would counteract the benefits/function of that. I hope I’ve understood that right! I’ll explain more about how we went about dealing with it in a separate blog. Basically, I need to work with my BODY first and ‘reset’ the way it deals with the things that make me anxious because even the THOUGHT of those things are enough to set me off. Fabulous!
Being told that I literally can’t ‘fix’ myself just by trying to change the way I think made me realise that I’m not getting this wrong, that I’m not ‘weak of mind’. I’ve not failed at getting on top of this by not being able to think about my triggers differently. My BODY is so finely tuned to respond the way it has been that I cannot override that with alternative thoughts.
Very often I (and probably you too!?) are told to find the silver lining, to look on the bright side, to see the positive in a shitty situation. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But sometimes it’s a bigger picture than just being positive and I think that’s a lesson we all need to learn, myself included.